Sunday, October 17, 2010

Why It Takes Me Forever To Leave My House

Every time I get ready to go somewhere I have to gather roughly around nine million objects to take with me. Usually these objects are irrelevant to where I'm going, it just makes me happy to have them with me, e.g. Chapstick, deodorant, extra outfit, bear repellent, unicorn magic. I have to make myself go through a step by step process to get all of the items out of the house and into my car. This process usually kills about thirty minutes to an hour of my life and unfortunately I'll never get that time back. It's like it is physically impossible for me to get all of the items I need BEFORE I get in my car. Here's the usual process:

1. Make sure you have all the items and head out to your car.

2. Realize you forgot your cell phone in the one spot it has reception in your house.

3. Go back to your recently locked front door and realize you left your house key in your car.

4. Unlock your front door and get your phone.

5. Forget that you left your keys in some random spot that is totally NOT where you left them.

6. Finally locate keys and get in car.

7. Realize your forgot your ID, money AND your glasses.

8. Repeat steps 1-7 only with different items.

I apologize to anyone whom I may have made late in this process. Oh look I found my keys!

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