Taking your useless baby with you to the grocery store is annoying. They cry, and scream and throw things like little baboons wrapped up a cute package. It's like getting a really beautiful present and opening it up and it's a gaggle of snakes and you're all like "Holy crap! It's a bunch of snakes! Oh god they're biting me!" and your friend is all like "But it was in a pretty package!" yeah. Babies are venomous snakes wrapped in pretty gift wrap...unless your baby is ugly, in which case it's ugly gift wrap. You carry this tiny humanoid type being INSIDE of you for approximately nine months. Chances are your baby is an alien. How many times have YOU developed from two cells and mitosified all over the place until you became large enough to barrel your way out of a vagina? That is NOT normal.
Also notice I tagged Jesus in this post...that's right Jesus, I'm looking at you...you did all of this.
Hate me all you want, you know I'm right.
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