Friday, October 29, 2010

Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid

Rape is defined as destroying or stripping something of its possession, and that is exactly what you are doing to my conversation when you scream in your own conversation. You are taking your words and destroying my feeble thought process and you have no idea because you are so absorbed in your own screaming world. In this world everyone around you is hard of hearing and you have to raise your voice to an eardrum shattering decibel because the people you are talking to and EVERYONE around you needs to hear what you are saying. It is THAT important. I like to call this process Conversation Rape.
For example, you're at dinner and you're having a nice conversation about kittens and/or butterflies, and the people behind you feel the need to scream at each other about sea otters and their drug paraphernalia lying around their apartment. "So yeah I really like the way butterflies are nice, quiet, and peace--" "I LEFT MY HEROIN NEEDLE ON MY FLOOR LOLROFLLMAOLMBOHAHAH." This kind of behavior is not okay. We (the people around you) do not enjoy hearing about your illegal activities, and we would appreciate it if you kept it to yourself before we band together and kill you with an axe.

This molestation of my conversation happened tonight while leaving the theatre after watching Paranormal Activity 2. I was telling my friends how I saw many resemblances to Cloverfield and The Blair Witch Project and mid-sentence conversation rapist yelled across the theater "THAT WAS EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED IN THE FIRST MOVIE ZOMGNOWAIZHA?" and my initial reaction was "What.." So to everyone who feels the need to rape my conversations, do not. I will axe murder you. That is a threat, not a promise.

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