Thursday, October 28, 2010

Internal Parasites are Scary...

So in respect to Halloween, I am going to write a post about the thing that terrifies me the most. Internal parasites are obviously parasites that exist within something. My particular fear is of them residing inside of me. Talk about intrusive. Let's talk about my friend, the tapeworm! The tapeworm is one of the oldest parasites and is actually really freaking scary. I was reading information about them and eating fries at the same time, which is a bad idea by the way. My fries started to wriggle and become segmented and I got a little freaked out and decided to watch baby kitten videos on youtube instead. I'm about to go into vivid detail about tapeworms so if don't want to read about tapeworms, feel free to visit why I think babies are useless.

Why tapeworms are totally awesome scary
Tapeworms seem kind of great at first. You're all "Hey I'm losing so much weight and eating so much! This is AWESOME!" You're wrong. You are oh so wrong. They're being stingy and eating all of your food, robbing you of that precious nutrition (that you're obviously getting from a Twinkie). They have mad crazy hooks that catch onto the walls of your intestines and can even replicate inside of you. These things don't even have intestinal tracks, and they are also both male and female! What's next world domination? I think so. All of this could also point that a tapeworm is, in fact, an alien.

You may have a tapeworm if you're eating four kajillion calories a day and not gaining a pound, or you may be an alien. Look, I'm not here to judge. Below is an accurate drawing of what a tapeworm looks like:

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