Shirley Phelps-Roper, Bill O' Reilly, and the 'R' word.

Oh, Shirley Phelps-Roper, you are one big sack of crazy. I need to get the name of her hair stylist because her hair looks AMAZING in whatever interview she's in (usually defending her sanity). Just take a look here! Yes, that IS her to the left. Isn't she lovely?! If you don't know who Shirley Phelps-Roper is you're missing out on a lot of quality entertainment. This woman goes around protesting everything. For example, she protests military funerals (Douche? Why yes I think so.), high schools, other churches, etc. Her message is the usual "God hates you and everything you do including your friends and children and he has double hate for you if you like someone of the same sex and ESPECIALLY if you're a democrat" kind of thing.

Like a lot of visionary (deranged) people her justification is, "God made me do it!". Sure he did! Just like Allah made those crazy Muslims crash into the WTC! The thing that really entertains me about her is the fact that she will argue to the death about her cause when there's really no validity for it at all. Every newscaster that I've seen interview her usually loses their patience and starts resorting to childlike behavior only on a more intellectual scale using their big people words like "abomination" and one anchor even went on to calling her the devil. Her response was actually to call her a bimbo. She called the nice Asian lady a bimbo on television. You can't write that. Of course everyone's first reaction is to be super angry at this obviously mentally deranged person, but my reaction is to laugh because I know that she has to have like Radon poisoning or something. Maybe she lives near a nuclear reactor?

Speaking of news anchors, what is up with Bill O' Reilly lately? Usually he spews his verbal "I hate everything that's not right wing conservative and I will portray everything in a way that is not true" jargon, but here recently he's taken to attacking celebrities? First Jennifer Aniston for her 'R' word slip and then one of the Kardashian bimbos for prowling on Justin Bieber. Talk about a cock block. I'm sorry Bill, I thought you actually cared about misconstruing your serious journalism facts on Fox News are you sure you wouldn't be better suited for...I don't know...the E! channel?

The punctuation for this blog was shot to hell in the first paragraph so I've just accepted that fact and will continue making simple grammatical errors until I get arrested. Any takers?

I'm a Wiener!! er..I mean Winner..

The sad part is I misspelled wiener the first time. I never really understood the I before E rule. Who needs it anyway? IE EI same difference? I think so. Anyway! I'm on Google now! Twice! Once for Martin Lee Photography (my SUPER successful Facebook fan site [it's not really that successful, but I do have more fans on there than I have friends]) and again for.....you guessed it...this blog! You only have to type like...eight or so keywords to find it! I think I'm on like the last page. So yeah, I'm pretty much famous. It's okay to be jealous. I would be.

Here recently I took a road trip to Pittsburgh, PA. If you're ever planning to drive there from Northwest Florida be prepared. The majority of the ride involves a large amount of mountains. Generally speaking I enjoy mountains. I now have a new found hatred for these large masses of rock that serve no purpose except to make my car's engine sound like an angry bumblebee (and I don't mean the Transformer). To my surprise, the temperature on top of mountains is a lot colder than it is on sea level. Who knew? I stopped to fill up for gas and almost froze in the beginning of August.

I also recently started college. Granted it's a somewhat tiny community college it still counts...in my mind. Apparently I look like I've been going there for a while because EVERYONE has stopped and asked me for directions at one point. They're like "WHERE IS THE MATH BUILDING OH MY GOD I'M FREAKING OUT I DON'T KNOW WHERE ANYTHING IS." and my reaction is usually to lie. "Oh..the math building...yeah..it's...that way?" When in fact, I didn't even know my college had a math building. Maybe I'll find it? I'm still expecting to take a wrong turn and wind up in Narnia.

So far I've learned that I have an "innocent" personality and that my Macroeconomics teacher is really emotional because she went through menopause, which seems like menstruation only for-longed and less bleed-y. I think she might have some form of undiagnosed Tourette's syndrome. She makes the strangest faces. First she'll look normal and calm then all of a sudden her eyes will get huge and she seems to develop scales and I expect her to blow fire only she doesn't. Then she'll go back to normal. I'm sad to say that these facial expressions are the highlight of that class because Macroeconomics is not really something that you can make fun.

Who knows, maybe I'll memorize the campus and find the math building and they'll love me so much that I'll be able to name the unknown mental problem that plagues my professor.